I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
