I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize