For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
