I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize