But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
