ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
operation harelip BJ is a go
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
