I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
