why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
