yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
