sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
