Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
should my penis look like a turkey
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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