I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
