My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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