Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think your dad took our porno
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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