This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize