so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
