Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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