FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
