Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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