i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
