lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
