Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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