Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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