i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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