i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
