you guys were way drunker than both of me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
