I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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