Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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