I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize