Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
