I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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