awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
