I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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