carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
where am i from again
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she pinky promised me she was 18
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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