i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
