I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
