Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
