im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
