So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
