1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
