I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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