Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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