i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
my poor anus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
