Kiss
Puke
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
