STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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