Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize