he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
