you would pick up someone in the library
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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