have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
