doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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