i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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