I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
