Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
