He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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