Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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