I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
