I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
