garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
