how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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