just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
