He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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