I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
