I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
