you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
