think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
