he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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