if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
