i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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