saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
