what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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