I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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