i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
is that a dick in a sweater?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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